Monday, February 11, 2013

COS Conference and Beyond!

At COS Conference, we filled out surveys and submitted them anonymously.  These are our answers that were collected on the last day regarding our expectations for going home.

When I think of returning to the states I feel:

·         Excited and anxious

·         Anxious

·         Ready as I will ever be

·         Overwhelmed and apprehensive about the unknown and the expectations that await me

·         Uncertain, yet hopeful and invigorated for new challenges and experiences.

·         Overwhelmed

·         Excited, anxious

·         Indifferent

·         Anxious

·         Neutral

·         Nervous but excited

·         Happy and excited

·         nervous….excited

·         confused/ambiguous

·         a jumble of emotions

·         like poop

·         like I’m not actually going back to the states

·         scared

·         anxious

I’ll be going back to:

·         family and friends

·         my family

·         the next step, even if I am not sure what that is yet.  And cheese

·         family friends and the same environment, which probably hasn’t changed much

·         Washington DC….for one year, then to infinity and beyond

·         Prepare for grad school

·         New family members (baby cousins)

·         Friends

·         Chaos

·         School work and dance and play

·         My family, friends and dogs

·         A summer of fun and travel

·         Less color, technology, fast pace, no greetings, cars everywhere, no ox carts, friends with babies and owning houses, materialism to the extreme

·         My parents house

·         Wedding and grad school

·         Boston!

·         Good food my family and friends

·         Seattle


I expect that for me the process of returning will be:

·         easy and hard

·         like a slow car accident

·         a rollercoaster, just like PC and life

·         Transitional and nostalgia in so far as my reflections on PC and Malawi

·         Cathartic

·         Lonely

·         Difficult, but I a ready to take on the challenge

·         Yet another move in my life

·         Peachy

·         Challenging

·         Tough, but I hope it will get better over time

·         Easy but overwhelming

·         Hard, happy, confusing, exciting

·         Smooth on the outside, somewhat turbulent on the inside

·         Getting hit by a clean empty shiny bus

·         Emotional

·         Sad and difficult

·         Lots of ups and downs


When I think of seeing my family again I:

·         Can’t wait

·         Am praying I have patience

·         Feel its time

·         Get excited so I am able to catch up with the years that I was here

·         Want to squirt guns full of confetti into the air!! Yea!!

·         Am excited

·         Geek out

·         Cringe

·         Smile

·         Excited

·         Feel happy

·         Get a smile on my face

·         Am nervous because they won’t understand or want to hear my stories

·         Feel apprehensive

·         Get excited

·         Want to pee my pants!!

·         Feel warm

·         Want to cry


I think my family will expect me to:

·         Be me

·         Stay home for a while

·         Struggle with big changes

·         Have changed to some degree and pursue my hopes and expectations at the same time

·         Relax relax relax

·         Be bummed out but hungry for sushi

·         Pig out

·         Be the youngest

·         Find a job asap

·         Productive and stay in America for a long time

·         Relax and slowly readjust

·         Be ready to have a baby

·         Live at home and stay for a while while also resisting

·         Be very thin

·         Eat a lot

·         Be thrilled

·         ????


I expect that my friends there will be:

·         Distant

·         Excited to see me

·         Struggle with big changes

·         Happt to have me back and hear about my stories and journey

·         Able to call me!! Ole!

·         Curious

·         Excited to see me

·         As supportive as they ever been as long as I am as open as I’ve always been

·         Tired of me saying “In Malawi….”

·         Happy and welcoming

·         Excited to see me

·         Happy to see me and interested in my adventure

·         Busy having babies and working long hours while I have all the time in the world

·         Scattered across the country nd not there for me

·         Welcoming but anxious for me

·         Looking forward to making fun of their crunchy granola friend

·         Uneasy around me, maybe intimidated supportive.

·         Hard to find


Regarding money, I am going to be:

·         Poor

·         Poor

·         Broke and anxious until I find a job

·         Broke for quite some time being that readjustment will not be sufficient

·         Just fine for a bit then will need some deposits

·         Poor

·         Pretty broke

·         Freaking out, but when I have it I still freak out

·         Sleeping on my mom’s couch therefore poor!

·         Ok

·         Enjoying it until I go broke

·         Spending it

·         Broke!! More school loansfine

·         Ok

·         Ok if I am careful

·         Still broke

·         Broke as shit

·         Poor until I get a job


Going back will enable me to:

·         Continue to grow

·         Continue school

·         Take the next step in my life.  It is time.

·         Look at the world from a different perspective due to what I’ve experienced here

·         Reinforce relationships that

·         Rest/plan

·         Go to school, process this amazing experience and use it to be a badass professional (maybe)

·         Be myself

·         Do anything I want as I have gained more confidence

·         Continue on my career path

·         Advance my career

·         Start a career and start a new life

·         See how I really have changed by my PC experience

·         Start something that’ll lead to something that doesn’t have an expiration date

·         Start thinking about having children

·         Take the next step

·         Take hot showers

·         Take the next step……

·         Do technical nursing stuff


I think that the hardest part of going back for me will be:

·         Feeling lonely

·         Feeling alone

·         How little things have changed while my life has so dramatically

·         Readjusting to the fear and chaotic life of NYC

·         Iphone 5

·         Loneliness the rat race

·         Getting used to all the stimuli

·         Not insulting someone

·         Not gaining weight

·         Re integration

·         Not knowing when I’ll return, not seeing my PC friends as much

·         Trying to limit my storytelling time

·         That everyone is way too busy, not willing to say hello to a stranger

·         Making new friends and not feeling lonely and insecure

·         Feeling guilty and angry with other people for not understanding that

·         Different responsibility

·         Leaving the people here behind

·         Loneliness

·         Feeling bitter towards Americans






I think that the easiest thing for me to handle will be:

·         Feeling alone

·         Long hot showers and generally improved hygiene

·         Talking about my experience and reaching out to the inner city communities esp. my high school and professors

·         Dishwashers

·         The mac and cheese aisle

·         I won’t be afraid of the grocery store.  To eat everything in sight

·         Insulting someone (I’m not sure)peeing in a toilet

·         Traveling

·         Hot showers

·         Refrigerators, hot showers and microwaves and overall convenience

·         Any public transport, waiting in lines

·         Eating out and grocery stores

·         Driving

·         Being a wife

·         Seeing friends and family

·         Conveniences

·         ??


I’m really looking forward to:

·         My friends wedding

·         Anything with my brother and best friend

·         Hugging my mom

·         Meeting with dad, brothers, sisters and members of my church congregation as well as my professors

·         Having security knowing I was fortunate to experience the palpable richness of Malawi

·         Sushi concerts and family

·         The accessibility and ease of transport in America

·         Not bathing in the mud and BRAN

·         Having Colby in America

·         Hugging family and friends

·         An American bed, spending time with my dog, a new phone and joining RPCV groups.

·         Doing a motorcycle cross country trip

·         Finding out where I’ll live next

·         Driving places

·         Being just another face in the crowd

·         Every day with Jake

·         The RPCV network

·         My bed, hot showers, my family

·         Swing spinning


The first thing I’m going to eat is:

·         Vodka pizza with wicked brand beer

·         Something my mom cooks (salad and beef tenderloin or lasagna)

·         Bacon cheeseburger

·         Macarans

·         Sushi

·         I can’t decide. It’s a problem whatever it is, I am gonna eat the **** out of it

·         BRAN

·         Ben and Jerrys ice cream

·         Sandwich

·         Breakfast with my family

·         Homemade chexmix

·         A cheese plate and a really good glass of red wine

·         Sushi

·         Copious amounts of cheese

·         A Mexican

·         Oysters and bloody marys

·         I have not yet decided

·         pickles




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