Sunday, January 15, 2012
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
My Journey to Germany
A brief, two-week, fun-filled holiday to Germany turned into quite an emotional journey as well. For one, automatic soap dispensers blew my mind. I forgot those existed and had no idea how to operate one in the airport (Kathi, you are so awkward! I know...). For another, I had plenty of time to do some evaluation of my experience thus far. Stepping out of Malawi and into a world more familiar made me realize how much I have changed.
Yet, the world I entered was not so familiar anymore. For instance, it's Germany, not America, but it is a world of many amenities. What? I don't have to wait on the side of the road for three hours to get to a grocery store? No rice and beans for two whole weeks?! Pizza and doner kebabs and schnitzel and chocolate and beer and wine at my disposal?!?!
However, I could sense myself comparing everything to Malawi. I referred to prices in kwacha, not euros. I told stories of my failures (there seems to be a lot more than I remember) and accomplishments (a lot fewer than I would expect) and at the same time trying not to bore everyone with my new life - my new life that I barely fit into and my old one that I can barely recognize. Limbo. Always in limbo.
The worst part is that I was surrounded by people who love me (Kathi, you're crazy! I know...). It was overwhelming. They love me and don't care about my failures and praise my mini accomplishments and not once did they demand that I loan them something and then not return it or ask for an obscene amount of money because obviously I am rich (okay, these things happens quite a bit in Malawi. I don't hold grudges and I understand the culture behind it - it's just exhausting to be seen as a dollar sign). They never stared or pointed or chased me around calling me azungu. They comforted me when I had my minor emotional moments when I got quiet and pensive and then sad and finally hungry.
We laughed. We played Uno. We played Apples to Apples. We drank schnapps when our tummies hurt after too much food. We swam in warm waters, visited Christmas markets and watched the final Harry Potter (YES!). Breakfasts of hard rolls and deli meat, whiskey tasting and visited castles on the Rein. Giant cheeseburgers danced in my head followed by beer by the liter. Gluwein, schnitzel and currywurst will tempt me in my dreams for the next 16 months and I can only hope that the chilly days I spent in Germany will stay with me for a little while as I drown in my own sweat on my concrete floor in my house. Thank you, thank you for everything. I love you so very much. I am lucky, blessed and spoiled.
And here I am in the Ethiopian airport, still saddened by my good-byes in Germany to my amazing and supportive family. I am struggling to get pumped for my arrival in Malawi (in about 4 short hours) but I might need some coffee or liquid sunshine or sleep before I can feel anything else.
For the record - I am not about to ET on anybody, so don't be getting any ideas. I am just reflecting. I am so very happy and grateful for the time I got to spend in Germany - it was too short! It was much needed (although I didn't know it before I left) and I am thinking this return to Malawi will be a time of rejuvenation - not a time of sadness (although I feel sad now...probably because I had to say good-bye all over again - I hate saying good-bye).
So, cheers to me cheering up for some new and exciting adventures in Malawi. *deep breath* Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this.
Yet, the world I entered was not so familiar anymore. For instance, it's Germany, not America, but it is a world of many amenities. What? I don't have to wait on the side of the road for three hours to get to a grocery store? No rice and beans for two whole weeks?! Pizza and doner kebabs and schnitzel and chocolate and beer and wine at my disposal?!?!
However, I could sense myself comparing everything to Malawi. I referred to prices in kwacha, not euros. I told stories of my failures (there seems to be a lot more than I remember) and accomplishments (a lot fewer than I would expect) and at the same time trying not to bore everyone with my new life - my new life that I barely fit into and my old one that I can barely recognize. Limbo. Always in limbo.
The worst part is that I was surrounded by people who love me (Kathi, you're crazy! I know...). It was overwhelming. They love me and don't care about my failures and praise my mini accomplishments and not once did they demand that I loan them something and then not return it or ask for an obscene amount of money because obviously I am rich (okay, these things happens quite a bit in Malawi. I don't hold grudges and I understand the culture behind it - it's just exhausting to be seen as a dollar sign). They never stared or pointed or chased me around calling me azungu. They comforted me when I had my minor emotional moments when I got quiet and pensive and then sad and finally hungry.
We laughed. We played Uno. We played Apples to Apples. We drank schnapps when our tummies hurt after too much food. We swam in warm waters, visited Christmas markets and watched the final Harry Potter (YES!). Breakfasts of hard rolls and deli meat, whiskey tasting and visited castles on the Rein. Giant cheeseburgers danced in my head followed by beer by the liter. Gluwein, schnitzel and currywurst will tempt me in my dreams for the next 16 months and I can only hope that the chilly days I spent in Germany will stay with me for a little while as I drown in my own sweat on my concrete floor in my house. Thank you, thank you for everything. I love you so very much. I am lucky, blessed and spoiled.
And here I am in the Ethiopian airport, still saddened by my good-byes in Germany to my amazing and supportive family. I am struggling to get pumped for my arrival in Malawi (in about 4 short hours) but I might need some coffee or liquid sunshine or sleep before I can feel anything else.
For the record - I am not about to ET on anybody, so don't be getting any ideas. I am just reflecting. I am so very happy and grateful for the time I got to spend in Germany - it was too short! It was much needed (although I didn't know it before I left) and I am thinking this return to Malawi will be a time of rejuvenation - not a time of sadness (although I feel sad now...probably because I had to say good-bye all over again - I hate saying good-bye).
So, cheers to me cheering up for some new and exciting adventures in Malawi. *deep breath* Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this.
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
A blog sharing extravaganza!
I stumbled upon a blog that my dear friend Shelly posted on her blog (because I like blogs) and I had to share...because I like blogs. Check it out - I hope you appreciate it as much as I do!
Stuff Expat Aid Workers Like
Stuff Expat Aid Workers Like
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Resolving
Hello, 2012!
2011 was very good to me, so you better be ready to live up to its standards. Some say the world is going to end....can you please make sure that doesn't happen? I'm not ready yet - I still have big plans for my village. And can you provide me rain (not chickens) to take care of my garden? Thanks, buddy.
As for my resolutions...
I want to give up biting my nails. Yeah, that one has been going on for the past twenty odd years, but really...I'm sure it is causing me to get worms in the first place. Gross.
Also, I want to run way more than I have been (that hiatus lasted too long). Running not just to lose that nsima weight, but because this is the only time in my life where I have unlimited time in my life. There's no excuse (besides 100 degree temperatures) why I haven't been running these past three months.
Read Harry Potter. Finally saw the last movie - it's about time I read behind the scenes.
Write more! Letters and journaling - I have been slacking. Actually come to think of it, hot season has been productively challenged. Come on, I grew up in Florida (the land of air conditioning) - you would think I could handle this a bit better.
Be a badass teacher. 'Nuff said.
Get my gardens growing all over Dwambazi...the seeds have been planted - just need some love and encouragement.
Focus. Sometimes I'm a fruit loop wanting to do everything. Focus, focus, Kathi! AND take advantage of every opportunity.
Spend more time traveling to see friends. They are good for me. Sometimes I forget and soak up my site rat lifestyle with too much gust.
However, allow for fewer visitors. Sometimes they tend to camp out and I don't get to spend time with my village (damn electricity!)
Stay positive, happy and healthy. Done.
Alright, 2012....bring it!
2011 was very good to me, so you better be ready to live up to its standards. Some say the world is going to end....can you please make sure that doesn't happen? I'm not ready yet - I still have big plans for my village. And can you provide me rain (not chickens) to take care of my garden? Thanks, buddy.
As for my resolutions...
I want to give up biting my nails. Yeah, that one has been going on for the past twenty odd years, but really...I'm sure it is causing me to get worms in the first place. Gross.
Also, I want to run way more than I have been (that hiatus lasted too long). Running not just to lose that nsima weight, but because this is the only time in my life where I have unlimited time in my life. There's no excuse (besides 100 degree temperatures) why I haven't been running these past three months.
Read Harry Potter. Finally saw the last movie - it's about time I read behind the scenes.
Write more! Letters and journaling - I have been slacking. Actually come to think of it, hot season has been productively challenged. Come on, I grew up in Florida (the land of air conditioning) - you would think I could handle this a bit better.
Be a badass teacher. 'Nuff said.
Get my gardens growing all over Dwambazi...the seeds have been planted - just need some love and encouragement.
Focus. Sometimes I'm a fruit loop wanting to do everything. Focus, focus, Kathi! AND take advantage of every opportunity.
Spend more time traveling to see friends. They are good for me. Sometimes I forget and soak up my site rat lifestyle with too much gust.
However, allow for fewer visitors. Sometimes they tend to camp out and I don't get to spend time with my village (damn electricity!)
Stay positive, happy and healthy. Done.
Alright, 2012....bring it!
gossip can save your life
Just sharing an interesting podcast with you about gossip in Malawi. I highly recommend you listen!
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