The Last Third

I’m in the last third – the last 9 months of my 27 month service.  Just a mere human pregnancy left!  I must say, I feel a sense of optimistic relief (Phew! The home-stretch! Just 9 more months!), a sense of pessimistic urgency (Can I get everything done? Only 9 months!), a sense of nostalgia (How will I be ready to say good-bye to my family in the vil?), and a sense of home-sickness (mostly revolving around food…but I miss people, too).

It’s too soon to sum up my service, but I already feel a change in my attitude. The first nine months were spent learning a new life, finding my groove and admiring everything Malawian. My favorite thing to do was meet my Malawian neighbors for tea and chatting. I loved playing games with the kids and teaching American songs and dances. Those first nine months, I was on Cloud 9 – so perfectly named.

The second nine months were rather bitter – as the life-cycle of Peace Corps Volunteer predicts.  I struggled with wild emotions, some traumatic experiences, robberies, chauvinism, the concept of aid in Malawi, loss of family members in America, loss of friends in my community and a complete lack of belonging.  I was in a bad place and I rarely journaled because I did not want to record my experience with these negative memories. Looking back, maybe journaling would have helped me through it. Looking back, I realize how strong I truly was to go through so much in a short period of time. The human psyche is quite durable.

So far my last 9 months I feel like I am at my strongest. I have a better sense of myself and my capabilities in my community.  I’ve found joy in my relationships and in cooking and baking.  I spend my free time roaming around my community chatting, like I did in the beginning of my service.  I am no longer numb to the beautiful people I meet and amazing landscapes in Malawi. I’m surrounded by incredible PCVs and neighbors who have been the greatest support system – bringing me to this very awesome state of happiness.

So I can proudly say, “I’m back!” as the Kathi you remembered - a bit stronger, somewhat smarter, less jaded than before, and dirty as always. Bring on the last nine months!

Critical Periods in the Life of a Peace Corps Volunteer

You will note that the behavioral reactions listed below all tend to be negative.  This is NOT meant to imply that your PC experience produces only difficult, unhappy emotions. It’s just that when you are feeling on top of the world, you don’t look for changes. Given, however PCVs spend their two (or more) years in a foreign culture, the likelihood of ups and downs is more common. This diagram was put together by a group of COSing volunteers in Senegal in the mid 1980’s; It’s applicable where ever you are. Take care of yourself.

 

Month	Issues	Behavioral Reaction	Interventions
1	Depart States Arrive Malawi Disorientation Health Self-consciousness	Anxiety Loneliness Feeling incompetent Nervous about personal changes over 2 years	Group building encounters Social events Establish routine Maintain link home Develop interests, hobbies, “positive habits”
2	Too much structure Too routine Group constancy Fatigue Impending affectation	Withdrawal Anxiety Restlessness Easy irritation, low tolerance level	Explore independence Make plans for 3 months Visit new site Establish relationships/familiarity with PC staff Gather skills for immediate use
3-6	Assignment Separation/solitude Uncertainty of role	Fright Frustration with self Loneliness Weight/health changes	Develop in-country correspondence Visit peers/host family Efforts to est. support links with NGOs and govt. services Technical research for future use
7-10	Slow work progress Language plateaus x-cultural frustration shock	Comparison to others Overzealousness Homesickness Uncertainties about adaptation abilities Intolerance with host culture	Reunions Letters home to forgotten relationships Talk with programmers about slow starts and failures Simple projects; personal crafts, garden for self Consolidate friendships
11-15	Mid-service crisis Doubt about program, role, self, govt. Reflection; disillusionment, confusion in resolving frustrations with victories Various failures over time New trainees arrive Holiday time	Impatience with self, program, system Blame on program constant complaining Lethargy Haughtiness w/new trainees via super identification in image, dress	Holiday planning/mini-vacation review work plan; set new goals, plan vacation   1 year anniversary celebration develop new recreation options   Write long-lost acquaintances   Explore better relations with CBO &NGO folks   Return to language study & practice
16-20	Increased/more defined work pace Project work realization of own limitations Consideration of “post PC”	Hyperactivity or apathy Procrastination Self-recrimination Resignation Disappointment Downgrade achievements Over-identification in behavior	Visit new volunteers Physical activity; “get in shape” Focus on relationships in the village Re-examine goals and time frame Apply for GRE, write grad schools Explore work possibilities in neighboring villages
21-23	Prep for COS: work/follow-up Depression about perceived lack of accomplishment Anticipated separation Demanding work pace Consideration of extension, post-PC options Acknowledged chance of unmet goals	Monument building Withdrawal into work details Panic Procrastination Frustration with self moodiness	Vacation/travel Review work plan, assess feasibility Plan “closing out” & follow-up Work with counterparts, govt., village groups on planning for departure Collaboration with first-year PCVs Consider post-PC pre-planning, first draft of resume; 4 months personal calendar Give quality time to village/personal relationships
23-27	Trauma of departure Concerns about social re-entry Bridging Malawi with US/former identity Re-definition of career Closer or re-definition of Malawi based on relationships	Fright Confustion Alienation Anxiety Panic Giddiness Impatience Obsession with planning and scheduling	Check on trends, US popular culture amongst trainees Do self-analysis; work accomplishment, to consolidate self-confidence Work on self-image Shop for art, crafts, etc Write friends, make social plans Post-PC travel plans Transfer work skills, area-specific knowledge to trainees

 

This is just an FYI - this diagram is very accurate.  My fellow PCVs and I refer to this and almost always it is on-point. We joke, ask me what month it is and I'll tell you how I'm doing...

Taken from Peace Corps Malawi's Tilipo, a publication created and distributed by members of VSV.

A vlog of young footballers

Some boys in my homestay village playing football (soccer) with a ball made out of plastic bags tied together with string.