The Last Third

I’m in the last third – the last 9 months of my 27 month service.  Just a mere human pregnancy left!  I must say, I feel a sense of optimistic relief (Phew! The home-stretch! Just 9 more months!), a sense of pessimistic urgency (Can I get everything done? Only 9 months!), a sense of nostalgia (How will I be ready to say good-bye to my family in the vil?), and a sense of home-sickness (mostly revolving around food…but I miss people, too).

It’s too soon to sum up my service, but I already feel a change in my attitude. The first nine months were spent learning a new life, finding my groove and admiring everything Malawian. My favorite thing to do was meet my Malawian neighbors for tea and chatting. I loved playing games with the kids and teaching American songs and dances. Those first nine months, I was on Cloud 9 – so perfectly named.

The second nine months were rather bitter – as the life-cycle of Peace Corps Volunteer predicts.  I struggled with wild emotions, some traumatic experiences, robberies, chauvinism, the concept of aid in Malawi, loss of family members in America, loss of friends in my community and a complete lack of belonging.  I was in a bad place and I rarely journaled because I did not want to record my experience with these negative memories. Looking back, maybe journaling would have helped me through it. Looking back, I realize how strong I truly was to go through so much in a short period of time. The human psyche is quite durable.

So far my last 9 months I feel like I am at my strongest. I have a better sense of myself and my capabilities in my community.  I’ve found joy in my relationships and in cooking and baking.  I spend my free time roaming around my community chatting, like I did in the beginning of my service.  I am no longer numb to the beautiful people I meet and amazing landscapes in Malawi. I’m surrounded by incredible PCVs and neighbors who have been the greatest support system – bringing me to this very awesome state of happiness.

So I can proudly say, “I’m back!” as the Kathi you remembered - a bit stronger, somewhat smarter, less jaded than before, and dirty as always. Bring on the last nine months!