there goes your wisdom

It's 9:00am, Friday, October 22nd, 2010. If you are reading this in real-time, I am currently undergoing my wisdom teeth extraction as a requirement for the Peace Corps. Yeah, I'm pretty serious about this little Peace Corps whim. I have to be to allow someone to rip my third molars out while I doze in an intoxicated state.

The next time I see you, I will be wisdom toothless. Wisdom teeth-free? Well, I won't have my wisdoms anymore.

Everything leading up to this day has been the biggest headache.

First, I didn't have dental insurance (At this point in time, I was requesting information from the local dental school. I was told to leave a message on an answering machine and I would get a call back. Then I would have to make an appointment at the beginning of the month in order to schedule an appointment for the end of the month. When I came to the building, I would need to pull around back and keep all my personal belongings hidden. If I did not follow these instructions completely to a T, I would have to start over or I would have been mugged)

then I found out that I did have dental coverage (and have had dental insurance with this company since 2003)

and then it turns out that I don't once again (per dental insurance company: if I was still a full-time student, I would have coverage...why didn't I get these out two years ago when I was first told they would need to come out? Why oh why?)

My friend Alisha told me she got her wisdom teeth out without general anesthesia. The healing process was faster than her other friends who had general, she was able to drive herself to and from the appointment and it cost significantly less. Sold. Even after reading numerous blogs about the discomfort of being awake and the crunch and the pop of the teeth and the throwing up on the dentist, I was still sold. Saving money was the only thing on my mind.

I went to two dentists and both refused to remove my wisdom teeth under local anesthesia (aka novacaine and Advil) due to the fact that my bottom teeth are impacted and growing at absurd angles.

Oral surgery it is.

I found a nice enough surgeon. He had good reviews on google (no less than 4.5 stars - that's legit) and he looks like Sonic the Hedgehog. He agreed to give me a 20% discount since I am broke as a joke. Sigh of relief, this brings the cost of the extraction down significantly - as inexpensive as going to a dental school, only I don't have to park in the shady parking lot in Baltimore and have hungover students practice cutting open my mouth (just kidding, I am not 'too good' to get my teeth out by a dental school. My Grandma Nate got all of her dental work done at dental schools and she didn't have any issues) but it is nice to be only 5 minutes from home, instead of 45 minutes from the home at the school in Baltimore.

Even better, my aunt Sharon told me about this great thing called Care Credit. It's like a credit card for medical expenses, except it's 0% interest for the first year. Beats the heck out of putting a huge procedure on my high-interest rate Mastercard.

The anxiety of getting my wisdom teeth out has increased with each passing day. There are so many rules, so many ways of messing up, so little food intake, a painful weekend...The stressful, horror stories far out-weigh the calm, success stories (I blame every single person who has told me their horror story for the reason why I broke out this week). However, I did talk to my friend Greg recently and he told me all of his friends said it was a breeze and he hasn't ever heard a horror story. Of course, Greg is pretty hardcore and his friends are equally hardcore. I may not have the same tolerance of pain.

I was also told that I'm pretty dramatic by my friend Shannon the other day. She is extremely perceptive and I did not take this offensively. I think this is completely true, but I mostly do it for effect. Mostly. Because I am pretty full of myself and I like a hearty laugh. However, there's a sprinkle of truth in everything I say. Therefore, this procedure is going to suck, I just know it. Hopefully I come out alive.

But to be honest, I am incredibly nervous. I devoured my last supper last night (aka Wisdom Teeth Extraction Eve) of wine and bread (from the divine Harris Teeter) and I said a little prayer with a wink and a kiss, rubbed Buddah's belly and I am just hoping all goes well. Please hope with me.